"In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart."

There is truly no way to prepare yourself for a trip to Auschwitz. There is really no way to describe the way you will feel when leaving either. It seems completely wrong to say it, but I was excited to go there. Excited is the wrong word, but I have always thought going to Auschwitz. Just as much as I have wanted to visit the Anne Frank house or the Holocaust museum in DC. I will never forget the things I saw, the stories I heard, or the way it made me feel.

I have always been interested in the Holocaust. I remember reading nearly every book about the Holocaust in the Norfolk Catholic library growing up. It has always just intrigued and perplexed me. Even still, after learning even more about the Holocaust directly from those whose countries experienced it, I am still perplexed by how this could have happened. Yesterday definitely provoked a lot of thought.

When we arrived at Auschwitz, it was cold and rainy, which was pretty fitting for the day. I doubt that it is ever warm and sunny at Auschwitz. We began our tour at Auschwitz I, one of three camps, and I immediately recognized the gate with the words "Arbeit Macht Frei", meaning work makes you free. A complete lie, when you realize that Auschwitz was a death camp. Jews were used as slaves until they died if not murdered immediately. Beginning our tour you could just feel your mood depressing, and it was only the beginning. We passed through the gate into the camp, and began to see barracks and various blocks used by the Nazi's during WWII. We entered many original blocks that are now used for the museum. There were many pictures of the suffering that took place at Auschwitz during the 1940's. Our tour guide explained to us how the Nazi's "selected" Jews for work, what the daily conditions were like for those in the camp, and numerous other atrocities that occurred that just made you sick.

The gate that reads "Work sets you free".

The electric, barbed wire fences.

The various buildings are barracks of Auschwitz I.

Eventually, we made our way to the building that now holds all of the possessions that were taken from the Jews upon their arrival to Auschwitz. They were constantly tricked and told that they were just going for a shower or disinfection and that they would receive their possessions after the disinfection. They were going to be murdered. This building was the worst part. I expected that actually going into the gas chambers and crematorium would be the worst, but these were just cold, empty rooms. The worst part seeing the possessions of real people who were brutally murdered, solely because of who they were. I will never forget the piles of eye glasses, prosthetics, suitcases, shoes, and the hair. Walking into that room, I immediately began to cry. There were just piles and piles of women's hair. That was the worst part. It still makes me cry just thinking about it. In that same room, was a glass case. I walked over, not knowing what it contained, peered over the edge, and saw an assortment of babies clothing and shoes. This was just too much for me. Seeing this really put everything I had read and knew about the brutal murder that took place in the Holocaust into perspective. It made it real. I couldn't even grasp the fact that these babies were killed here.

Photos showing the deportations of Poles and Jews. 

The selection process of Jews just arriving at Auschwitz. Women and children are on the left while men are on the right. The women and children were sent straight to the gas chambers.

A model of the gas chambers and crematorium.

The canisters of Zyklon B found by the Red Army upon liberating the camp. 

The Zyklon B crystals.

Eye glasses that were taken from Jews.

Prosthetics and braces. 

The shoes. There were millions. 

Suitcases with victims names written on them. They were told it would be easier to find after the showers if their names were written on them.

Hairbrushes and shaving combs.

We continued with our tour, going into different buildings and learning of more and more atrocious acts committed by the Nazi's. We finished our tour of Auschwitz I by visiting the gas chamber and crematorium, the only one at the camp that had not been destroyed by the Nazi's at the end of the war. The scariest part was that this gas chamber we visited was the smallest of the five at Auschwitz. More were built because this "small", meaning that more than 500 Jews were packed into the room at once and murdered, was not efficient enough. The later gas chambers were built to murder 1,500 to 2,000 Jews at once. Our tour guide told us of an account that the ashes of those burned just blew through the air, being breathed in by those in the camp. It was said that the sky was "the color of Jews" because of the mass murders that were happening in the camp. Being in the gas chambers and crematorium itself was such an erie, indescribable feeling.

This really stood out to me. It reminded me of an animals trough.

The Death Wall. People were lined up and shot here and after being stripped naked.

The entrance to the gas chamber and crematorium.

The gas chamber. Zyklon B was dropped through vents in the ceiling after the Jews were locked inside. Other Jews were then forced to burn the bodies in the next room. 

The crematorium. 

After a short, needed break, we headed to Auschwitz III, also called Birkenau. This camp was were the most mass killings took place, especially in the later stages of the war. I was overwhelmed by how massive this camp was, and it was built entirely by the Jewish prisoners. There were what seems like miles of barracks, and then at the end of the tracks, two gas chambers and crematoria. While most of the camp had been destroyed before the camp was liberated, I still felt that incredibly erie feeling. Our tour guide explained to us what the living conditions were like at this camp. It was enough to make you sick. 700 women were crammed into a tiny barrack, with no bathrooms. The details she explained to us of that fact alone was sickening.

The camp just kept going and going.

The ruins of one gas chamber and crematorium.

We continued to walk around this camp, going into various barracks and buildings, seeing the ruins of the gas chambers and crematoria, the railway cars that Jews were deported in, and the memorial. At the end of the day I just felt numb.

One of the stories that stuck with me was a story about those Jews that were forced to burn the bodies of their people at the gas chambers. While the Jews were so malnourished and exhausted that hardly any tried to escape or revolt, there was a story of a kind of revolt by those that worked in the gas chambers. They were able to set fire or blow up the entire gas chamber, killing themselves in the process. Our tour guide explained that they were forced to work in the crematorium by the Nazi's and they were killed every so often so that they could never tell of what happened in the gas chambers and crematorium. So when the group of them was to leave to be killed, they blew up the gas chamber. Our tour guide told us that they had wanted to die on their own accord. Once again, I can't even imagine.

The memorial at Auschwitz Birkenau.

Ruins of one of the gas chambers and crematorium. 

One of the barracks that housed 700 women. There was no heat and there were no bathrooms. Women were allowed to go to the bathroom twice a day, once in the morning and once at night, in a hole in the ground.

The women's barracks. Many people were crammed into each level of these barracks including the ground floor. I'll always remember being in this room when our tour guide told us that the Auschwitz Museum was opened in 1947 and the first to visit were the survivors. I was surprised that the museum was opened this soon after the end of the war and I can't even imagine what it would have been like for the survivors to visit. I truthfully can't even imagine what this place would have been like to visit a few decades ago, when these atrocities seemed so recent.

The suffering that took place at these camps cannot even be explained or imagined. I could go on and on with the stories that we were told and the feelings that ensued, but even the stories and feelings do not do justice to what actually happened at these camps.

One of the quotes that stuck with me was written on a plaque at the entrance to one of the buildings.

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - George Santayana

This is so incredibly important. As saddening and numbing as yesterday was, it is so important to have these experiences. Having known the terrors that occurred during the Holocaust from books is not even comparable to seeing these camps in real life. It truly put a lot into perspective for me, in all aspects of life. In our classes we talk a lot about scapegoating and "otherness", these concepts were true for the Holocaust and they are still true in many parts of the world today. If there is anything to be said about the Holocaust is that it should be learned from and never repeated.

These are some of my favorite quotations from those who actually witness what happened in these camps that do the Holocaust a lot more justice than I ever could. They seem to solve my "how could this have happened" questions and really provoke a lot of thought about the past and our world today.

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” - Elie Wiesel

“We must be listened to: above and beyond our personal experience, we have collectively witnessed a fundamental unexpected event, fundamental precisely because unexpected, not foreseen by anyone. It happened, therefore it can happen again: this is the core of what we have to say. It can happen, and it can happen everywhere.” -- Primo Levi

“Thou shalt not be a victim, thou shalt not be a perpetrator, but, above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.” -- Yehuda Bauer